Illumination

Even though you may not realize it and I may not be perfect at it, since I was fourteen I've been dedicated to rooting out darkness and bringing light back into the world, in whatever way that I can.

The tricky part about that is how at ease I am in the dark.

I come from a good background, but, through my own faults, I've seen a darker side of reality. A lot of people don't know this, but back when I was a kid a good part of the reason we moved to Utah was because of how bad things got for me in Arizona. I've struggled with depression in and out for years. I've lost loved ones to the grave and I've lost friends to life. I've helped people through their darkest moments when they needed a friend most.

After a while, I guess I got comfortable with it. With myself really, because the darkest things I've had to face have come from inside me. For those of you who really know Josh today, you know a guy who is comfortable, but not satisfied, with who he is.

As I realized in my poem a few months ago, I belong in the dark. I was made for it. But not to bask in it or to feed on it, but to keep it at bay.

My method of fighting for a better world up to this point has involved wading into the dark and swallowing it while keeping my darkness at bay and my light flickering onward.

The problem is that that isn't good enough anymore.

See, there are two ways of fighting for the light. You can do what I've done or you can be a conduit for light yourself. Rather than keeping the darkness at bay, you can give light and drive it away.

That is by far the better approach. The trick is that it also requires much more of you, or, at least, of me.

I belong in the dark, but now I need to find some way to make myself a conduit for the light. Instead of caging my darkness I have to expel it. Instead of keeping my light alive, I have to feed it and let it grow.

Actually, that isn't true. I have to learn to channel the goodness and grace of Jesus Christ much better than I have been doing. Because, when it comes down to it, I am not capable of lighting the darkness on my own. I'm not bright enough. I need him. The people of Korea need him. Not me.

I'm standing at the precipice of a deep plunge into the deep. The only comfort I take comes from the story of the Brother of Jared. To bring light to the darkness of the depths of the sea, the Lord touched stones that had been molten and shaped until they were pure and clear. Originally, they were just rocks, but through pressure and heat they came to be pure enough that the light from Christ could shine through them and bring light to the depths of the dark sea.

I am not yet one of those rocks, but, God willing, I intend to be.

My necklace has more than just a symbol of Jesus Christ on it. Every day when I put it on, I am directed to John 8:12. "Then spake Jesus unto them, saying, I am the light of the world: he that followeth me shall not walk in darkness, but shall have the light of life."

It's time to earn that.

"Give light, and the darkness will disappear of itself." - Victor Frankl

I Used to Play Bass For...

For the last semester me and my roommates have been running a joke introduced to us by the great Jacob Mikulecky. Jokes die when you explain them, but since none of you will ever hear me make enough of these to make the connection I'll kill the joke anyways hoping that you can gain some small satisfaction from its corpse.

The concept is that when we hear something come up in our usual conversation that sounds like it could be a band name we say that we used to play bass for such and such. We play bass because no one really knows who plays bass for any given band. Most fans can name a lead singer or a guitarist, but the bassists will remain as anonymous as rabbis (wait for it). The vast majority of names we throw out are complete garbage. Each proposed name, much like any of our other jokes, gets an instant rating from one to ten with only eights and above considered to be worthy of remembrance. Additionally, if someone goes out of their way to set their joke up or they have created it in advance, then it, like Loquacious Donkey, is thrown straight to Hell.

Now before I give you the list you need to know that each of these bands is imagined opening up for Creed. They are Creed cover bands. Because no one opens for Creed.

I, Josh Whitlock, do solemnly swear and affirm that all of these came up in actual conversation.

Josh Whitlock, Jacob Mikulecky, Sir Billiam von Honey, Easton Johnson, or Evan Sorenson used to play bass for:

Wives and Concubines
Widow's Peak
Soldier of Fortune
Rabbis Anonymous
Childbearing Hips
Historical Douchebags
Almost a Hug
Alzheimers and Priestcraft
Six Pack for Grandpa
Gratuitous Nudity
Son of the Nun
Burning Apathy
Flaming Racist
Ninjas and Trebuchets (watch the Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption)
Perversion in Israel
Bastions of Antiquity
Capital of Suck
Cannibalception
The Apostate Uncle
and
Lover's Bonus

After we hit the bottom of the proverbial band name we branched off into song titles and album names and even occasionally stage names. The vast majority of these go to Rabbis Anonymous because we tend to find jokes about religious subject matter hilarious.

Our favorite album goes to A Firm Grip on the Soap as performed by Flaming Racist prior to Creed's prison tour.

As time goes on I may or may not add to this list, but if you come across any awesome band names in your conversations, please feel free to whip this joke out and comment below, but only if it is above a five. Take luck for your finals people.

Whitlock out.