The Clouded Future

I can't see into the future. My vision is obscured by the uncertainty of fate.

It's like I'm at the top of a mountain. I can travel in any direction, but the valleys below are blanketed in fog. Even the idea of a valley might be an illusion. I have to dream to have any idea of what I'm walking into.

Here are some of my more pleasant fantasies.

My dream has always been to be the perfect mormon man. A great husband and father, working a steady job, coming home to my suburban house. I go on a mission, serve honorably, come home, get married and graduate. This is the dream that I keep waking up from. I want it more than anything else, but it eludes my grasp.

In another life, I'm single. Not by choice, but whatever. I'm waiting tables in Rome, working part time and immersing myself in the culture. Trying new things. Letting myself become a new person. During the day I work, but at night I wander. I walk the streets basking in the life flowing around me. I'm alone, but not really. The city is my companion.

Another dream of mine involves joining the military instead of serving a mission. In this dream, as horrible as it would be in real life, war has broken out. Somewhere in the world, people need my help. The call of duty is issued and I respond, running towards the sound of chaos. I live, fight, and sacrifice along side my brothers in arms, giving whatever it takes to make the world a better place. And eventually that includes my life. If I died in the line of doing something great, I think I would die happy, knowing that my existence meant something. Knowing that I made a difference.

For now, reality is less exiting. I'm working at BYU catering as a cook in the hot kitchen (don't know if I already announced that, but chances are if you know me well enough to care what I have to say you already know. My least sincere apologies for the inconvenience). My specialty at this point is probably cleaning up. I'm still learning how to do everything, and I'm getting better, but I don't feel like I'm fast enough to contribute my fair share during hell week. Which would be next week. The week my homework load is doubled and my hours increase.

My grades aren't doing so hot. I literally did not have time to do everything I had to this week and I'm starting to feel my brain deteriorate. Like, I'm a smart guy, but lately I've been feeling really, really stupid. Concepts that should come easily to me are nearly impossible to comprehend now. Maybe I should take an IQ test now so that I can report a score later in life that doesn't match Forrest Gump's.

Also, I just got back from a trip to Arizona. I don't think I'm ever going to live there. It is a nice area, but I struggled to stay happy there. I thought I was over what happened in sixth grade, but I think there are too many bad, repressed memories for me to feel anything less than cold there. It helped to be with my family though. I feel like college has just made me closer to my family, even if I'm more politically moderate than my parents and my normal sleep habits have me waking up four hours after everyone storms my bedroom. It was cool to see the cousins too. Ethan is turning into a mature-ish little boy, Ava is adorable as always, and Pace went from being a vengeful angel into an adorable, sensitive little kid.

During the trip, I read my first recreational book in months, and it was incredible. It is called Mistborn. It's a fantasy set in a world where an unspeakable evil arose and the only one who could stop it failed (I'm paraphrasing). For a thousand years, a dark god has ruled the world. It was smartly put together, the characters remained human and fallible throughout, and the plot develops in an appropriately unpredictable way. It was easily one of the best books I've ever read, so if you are on the market for that sort of thing, I highly recommend it.

While there, I also had the distinct pleasure of getting Brenden an early Chrismas present. Any guesses?

Think.

Pretend like you know me.

Final answer?

Jk, I belive in deathbed repentance. Ish.

But really. Pick a present and stick with it.

It was a-

You didn't even guess, did you? Punk.

I got him a trinity of animated Batman movies! Whoot!

It came with Batman: Year One, Batman: Gotham Knight, and Batman: Under the Red Hood.

Of those, I had seen Under the Red Hood already. When I watched it a couple years ago, I had pretty low expectations, but it was a fantastic movie. Spoilers coming until the end of the paragraph: The movie opens with the Joker beating Robin to death with a crowbar. Robin remains defiant to the end, but he is still a teenager and it latches onto your emotional core pretty quick watching him suffer. If you watch the opening sequence, you won't stop. Robin comes back from the dead (I know, I know) and takes on one of the Joker's old persona's: the Red Hood. As the Red Hood, he starts cleaning up Gotham using methods that Batman refuses too, namely taking over and controlling Gotham's underworld using a lot of killing. In the end, Batman, Red Hood, and the Joker are all forced to confront each other and Batman is faced with an impossible moral dilemna. Dark, psychological, and redemptive. In other words, brilliant work.

Since it was so good, I got him the set. We watched Year One in Arizona, and I thought it was good, but not incredible. More of a Jim Gordon movie than a Batman movie.We also started Gotham Knight, which turned out to be a bunch of shorts, some of which were good and some of which were just plain weird.

Whitlock out.

A Few of My Favorite Things

I'm thankful for:

Air Conditioning
Batman
Freedom
Families
My Opportunities
Free Time
My Old, Green Monterro
Friends
Netflix
Rollar Coasters
George Lucas...ish
Really Thick Carpets
Apple Pie
Every Other Variety of Pie
My Imagination
People Who Think
The Knights Who Say Ni
Indoor Plumbing
Blondes
Bishops
Cannibalistic Bears
The Mediterranean
Gandalf
Coldplay
Chocolate Milk
When Cats Fail
College Life
MacBook Pros
People I Can Count On

And the God who gave me all of them.

The Shadows Whisper

Walking in the night,

One foot in front of the other,

Pacing, plodding, trudging,

Marching into uncertainty.

The shadows whisper a warning,

Alone in the dark,

Every sound an alarm,

Every corner an ambush.

The shadows whisper an invitation,

"Embrace me. Embrace yourself.

Hide your secrets here,

Uncage your demons."

The shadows whisper a promise,

"I'll accept you as you are,

Become your ally,

Safeguard you from the cruel light of day."

Shadows don't whisper,

They echo.

Standing on the edge of the unknown,

Paralyzed by indecision,

"Are cliffs for climbing,

Or leaping?"

The light declares,

"Come to me.

I will protect you from the dark.

I'll become your guide."

Strolling, ambling, sauntering,

Marching into the light,

Feet placed with resolution,

The path illuminated.

But the light gasps,
then fades, its power insufficient,
to project beyond its given sphere,
it coughs, then fades to black.

Because everywhere the light isn't,
There are the shadows,
Defined in contrast with its only foe,
The brightest light casts the darkest shadow.

Some people belong in the light,
But not I.
For though the light illuminates the path,
It denies the errant wanderer their quest.

The only truth that matters,
Is the one that I discover.

The only honest route is through the dark,
the only true companion my own mind.

The shadows whisper,
"Welcome home."

America the Great

I'm aware that the election did not go the way anyone who might be reading this wanted. (This is one of the nice things about all your friends being conservative, you can always address a specific audience politically) I just wanted to take a moment to say that it is not the end of the world. The sun is still coming up tomorrow, and it will keep coming up for the next four years. Life moves on.

Obama is not the ideal candidate. Granted. But he does have some things going for him that I can respect in a commander in chief. He is a solid diplomat and an expert negotiator. I agree with most of his foreign policy decisions, even if we stand apart on Israel. He also knows how to manage the military. On this issue, Romney was just wrong. There is absolutely no need to increase the defense budget. Our modern enemies are not nations like Russia or China. They are insurgents, shadow fighters. You can't fight the shadows with a tank, you need spec ops teams. So when Obama backs military reforms that trim the fat and make us a leaner, faster, more mobile and adaptable fighting force, I am 100% behind that.

Heck, if he could get spending under control he might actually make a decent president.

But even if there is nothing he supports that you agree with, even if he stands juxtaposed to your entire core ethos, he isn't going to be able to stop America.

You see, I've been all around the world. I've seen different cultures, experienced different lifestyles. The world can be a beautiful place, but no where holds a candle to the United States of America. This country is the foundation of freedom the world over. Here you can speak your mind, influence the way things run, and live your life the way you want to. You can find more economic opportunity than anywhere else in the world. And you can enjoy it all free from fear, knowing that our country is protected by the mightiest military force assembled in history.

Our system of government was divinely inspired to bring the light of freedom to the world. When it really comes down to it, the government doesn't mean a thing, because our country is run by us. We the people.

Our history is written in blood, but more often than not, that blood was sacrificed in defense of those who could not defend themselves or spilt in the struggle for liberty, protecting the rights that God himself gave to us. We have made mistakes, but we continually improve, learning lessons and becoming more and more a paragon nation that exemplifies humanities potential.

Now can you really picture all of that being toppled by a democratic president with only four years in office?

Think again.

"Give light, and the darkness will disappear of itself." - Victor Frankl

Happy Birthday, Gandalf the Gay, and Coldplay

So I turned 19 a couple of days ago. Huzzah for Israel, right?

Wrong.

What makes a birthday isn't the day itself, it is the changes that come with it. For example, the reason that turning 13 was completely bomb is that I was finally able to watch PG-13 movies and play T-rated video games (Thank you mom and dad). 16 was also big, mostly because I was able to take some ladies out at long last. Driving was a side-note because I hadn't completed my 6 months of learners permit-ness yet.

By the way, who came up with that idea? It seems like if learners permits work on the road we should apply them to every part of life. For some reason, I just can't take the though of James Bond working on his learners permit to kill seriously. Emily J, you don't have to point out the logical fallacies with that argument, I'm well aware that it doesn't hold up to logic.

Anyways, nineteen used to be a big birthday because of the new access to the mission field. With that gone, 19 is more like 18+. The day didn't really feel special, just like a regular day with more...me.

That said, it was an enjoyable day. I finished all my school work by 6:30 and by 10 people had shown up to watch some LOTR with me. It turns out that Gandalf the Gay is on a flamin' rampage in the Shire scenes. Here are a few of the highlights:

Frodo to Gandalf: We Baggins's used to be respectable folk before you came around.

Frodo to Gandalf: You've officially been labeled a disturber of the peace.

Gandalf to Bilbo: Frodo suspects something.

The moment where Gandalf is smoking weed and decides to blow a ship. That one should have some sort of disclaimer warning children.

Gandalf to Frodo: Keep it secret.

Gandalf to Frodo: Is it secret?

Bilbo to Gandalf: Will you keep an eye on Frodo?
Gandalf: Two eyes, if I can spare them.

(This entire sequence was absolute gold)

Sam: Oh please, Mr. Gandalf, sir, don't turn me into anything...unnatural.
Gandalf: No?...I have a better use for you. (End of scene)

Needless to say, when you watch with me, Tyler, and Spencer, you either love it or hate us. We've gotten our fair share of both. To this day Ashlyn Parkinson won't ever watch them with me again. Carter and Nate, however, seem to be on the love bandwagon...which was probably not the best phrase to use after discussing a desire to watch a homosexual wizard.

As for presents, I asked my parents not to get me anything, but in typical fashion they disregarded my request and got me a sweet digital camera, some clothes, and a pack of bacon.

Also, to allay any doubts, I decided to stick with school until the end of the year.

I want to go on a mission right now, but since that isn't an option, I would rather do something productive for the next few months than sit around for three so I can leave one month early.

I think the most appealing thing about the mission for me is the direction it will give my life. Right now, I feel like I'm kinda floating along in an ocean. I don't know where I want to go, so I swim out a ways and then double back to see what I missed. A mission is more like a river. Each day is filled with purpose and direction. It might be a bit harder to stay afloat, and there are bound to be some rapids, but at the end of the journey I've gone somewhere, seen something new, accomplished something.

But that's for the future. For now, I'll try to figure out what major-less classes I'm taking now.

Sadly, I'm finding less and less new art entering my life. How I Met Your Mother continues to impress, as do most of the things I already like, but there is less discovery.

One thing I have rediscovered though, as I do every few months, is Coldplay.

Coldplay is probably the greatest band of all time. No matter what sort of a mood you are in, there is always something that speaks to you, and it always sounds dang good. In particular, the song Talk has been speaking to me lately. I can't really tell you why, just listen to it and try to see for yourself.

Although I will say this. The responsibility associated with being an older brother has finally set in. When there is something I don't feel like doing, or a challenge I don't feel like I can surpass, I keep fighting for my brothers. I know that the way I live my life sets the standard for the way they approach theirs, so I have to be the example.

Earlier I talked about the Charge of the Light Brigade. Let me just say that when I am faced with the Valley of Death, I'll ride into it for them.

Converts Over Babies...(maybe, but probs not)

Yesterday an announcement was made that changed the lives of thousands of kids around the world.

I wasn't one of them.

Cool beans for everybody who didn't want to go to college before the mission. Hooray for all the girls that won't have to wait until they don't get married to go (I know, I know, double negative. It's fine.). For me, my timetable hasn't changed in the slightest. I'm probably going to go after I finish a year, unless I can get a job really soon, in which case I'll probably take the downtime between semesters and my mission to work.

However, it is an interesting development, so I thought I might as well pitch my two cents about some slightly less obvious results of this decision.

The norm for mission age is going to shift way down, especially in Utah. Something not everyone recognizes is that mormon guys in Utah are defined by their mission papers starting right after Christmas of senior year. If you see someone you know and you are within a year of being eligible to serve a mission, the first thing you talk about will be your papers. There's a ton of pressure to go as soon as possible. The 18 year old rule just means that guys will start feeling the pressure starting after junior year.

Not in and of itself a bad thing, but it does hold guys to a higher standard. If you aren't ready to leave the country for years within two years of learning to drive, you are now the "slacker" guy that no girl wants to date. To make up for this, I think the young mens program is going to have to adapt. Frankly, most of the high school seniors I know haven't got a clue what the Bible says. The guys of that age in my ward are not even close to ready, so this year will either be a huge growth experience or they are going to struggle to meet the new standards.

I feel like most guys need a little experience living on their own before they go. A senior companion shouldn't have to be a babysitter.

Even more interesting are the consequences surrounding the announcement for sister missionaries.

Lowering the age is probably going to triple the number of girls that serve missions. More missionaries means more converts, and probably more missions opened. I don't know that the quality of sister missionaries will go up, however, as social pressure to go will probably push quite a few sisters into the field that never even considered going before.

The stigma surrounding sister missionaries will probably more or less disappear. No longer will sisters serve only if they can't find a husband by twenty one, and no longer will they be missing their prime marriage years if they go.

When the guys get back from their missions, there probably won't be a whole lot of options waiting for them. Most guys marry girls that are twoish years younger than them. These girls will be high school seniors, and therefore dateable only by total creepers. No one within a year of their age will be there, because all of them will be on missions. Freshmen coeds will be more comfortable dating RMs because the age difference will be significantly less than before, and there won't be much opportunity for commitment because the coeds will have their papers in.

The net result of this change is that the average age for marriage will probably shift up for Mormon couples. The result of that shift is a subtle decrease in the LDS birthrate.

Interesting stuff, but only the bit about RMs having trouble getting married affects me, and even that really don't do much to me. Lydia is probably never going to let me forget that she was right about going on a mission before getting married though.

Even missionaries won't have as much trouble getting married as BYU has playing football. Good night, it has been painful to watch! Our next two games are going to be even more pathetic. We can't compete with top 25 teams. I've never been more happy to have a dual loyalty to USC. Go Trojans!

Highland is basically the bomb. There is food... for free! Do you know how much I've missed red meat? Plus it is fun to be immature again. I finally engaged in an epic Banks-style battle with Tyler, Brenden, and Brevin. In our tournament, I was bested only by Tyler, who managed to cut off my right hand...twice. I then won an epic string of brawl duels with Jayden Banks, who is actually pretty good, but wasn't quite able to get the upper hand against my incredible Sheik/Wolf/Link-ness.

I will make one quick plug for my other blog. I'm writing a fictional blog following me and Spencer attempting to survive the Apocalypse. It is called the Survivor Chronicles. I'm trying to make it as realistic as possible so don't expect me to start sniping zombies (who won't be making any real appearance at all) from a mile away or taking on a bunch of thugs with my bare hands. Or eating anything resembling salad. I'm actually putting a good bit of work into this so hopefully there is some measure of quality to it. Give it a whirl, at thesurvivorchronicles.blogspot.com.

A Hole Band of Awkward Legends

Did you know that sometimes there are moments so terrible that even Lord of the Rings isn't good enough to make me stay put?

Shocker, right? I think I've geeked out about Lord of the Rings more than any other show on this blog. It's sort of like the way an emo feels after cutting himself. Bleeding fantastic.

Ok...maybe a bit to dark even for me, but when has that stopped me before?

That terrible moment I was talking about earlier can, and probably someday will, manifest itself in the form of a group of band nerds.

On a side note, I don't necessarily hate the band. I think it's great that so many people can find friendship or some type of awkward incestuous family in the band. I think it's great that they can defy the odds and win something for AF for a change. I think that lots of them are great people. I've got a lot of friends that were in band and I genuinely enjoy spending time with them.

But not in packs. When band kids are cut off from each other they are fun, cool human beings. When they get together, they form this social chasm with the rest of the world. It's awkward as all hell. I think that band, much like drama, forms a bond between band kids that is stronger than anything anyone else can offer them. So in situations where they have other band kids around, they form the chasm and ignore the rest of the world in favor of reliving the good old days and talking about the next generation of band nerds that no one else knows about.

Me and Spencer couldn't take it, so we abandoned ship. In my case, literally just as they were about to start fighting at Helm's Deep. That should tell you how uncomfortable it was.

Note to everybody: If you manage to graduate and find yourself going to a nice college somewhere, don't be a wannabe super senior. There isn't a person on earth who wants to be ignored in favor of gossiping about this cute high school junior couple that already have their wedding vows written.

In other news, I've been walking around for the past couple of days with a large hole in my chest.

I discovered this oddly shaped, multicolored mole on my chest so I went to get a dermatologists opinion regarding potential malignant origin. He's about 90% certain it isn't cancerous which was nice to know, but I still found myself lying on the table without a shirt while he came at me with a knife. An unexpected consequence of paying 30$ for about 5 minutes of attention: doctors reserve the right to cut you at a moment's notice without any prior interest expressed. So he carved out a hole about half an inch in diameter and then cauterized it with some kind of bizarre chemical and here I am. For the first time in my life, a holey man.

Yes, I've read Harry Potter. Yes, I steal their jokes sometimes.

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You know, it's dang hard to keep track of what I have and have not reviewed. I'm going to guess that I've covered the Walking Dead, the Avengers, and Avatar...although as an update for that some guys in my dorm are hosting an Avatar party every Saturday morning. We had about 18 people show up for day one, more than half of whom were girls...attractive ones too.

I've recently been introduced to the beauty that is Spotify. Because of Spotify, I can listen to anything I want, whenever I want. There are thousands of songs at my disposal.

I've listened to the same two albums over and over again for the past two weeks. That's right, with any song in the world at my disposal, I've listened to nothing but Night Visions and Black Holes and Revelations since I got to college.

Imagine Dragons' new album, Night Visions, is easily one of my favorite albums of all times. Imagine Dragons has a very unique and creative flavor on their music that is at once chill and super exciting. It is good for any mood any time. I've gone through that track about 40 times and I still couldn't tell you what all the words are for most of the songs because it is all about that unique sound. Highly recommended to anyone. The top three songs are, in no particular order, Radioactive, Bleeding Out, and Demons.

Black Holes and Revelations is also one of the greatest albums ever. I feel like I may have written about this before (and I'm too lazy to check), but briefly, Muse is a tripy, almost hallucinogenic sort of a band. Bizzare, but extremely good. Even, if I may be so bold, Legendary. And the most legendary of their albums is Black Holes and Revelations. Don't just listen to one song, take the whole album and just have it playing in the background somewhere. Although your ears are most likely to poke up at Knights of Cydonia, Exopolitics, and Starlight.

In case you were wondering, yes, I've seen How I Met Your Mother. Yes, that is where the "legendary" thing comes from. In what is possibly my favorite show of all time, a father in 2030 tells his children the tale of how he met their mother through flashbacks to 2005, where 27 year old Ted has become desperate for a committed relationship that will lead to kids/marriage. He and his friends, especially Barney are hilarious. And dirty. Very dirty. I would never ever let my kids watch this show, but it is easily one of the funniest ever. One of the best things about it is that everything is tied into the show. Random details will be brought back up in later episodes to hilarious effect. Oh, and there are also some extremely cute moments that should more than satisfy any chick-flickish craving you may have been suffering. If you have given up on making it into heaven and want some quality entertainment, this is the show for you.

Suit up and don't touch that remote. More of the things you never wanted to know about my life will be back after these messages.

The Problem of Success and the Charge of the Light Brigade

A couple months ago, me and Parker were walking to the gym talking about anything that struck our fancy. Already, you should be thinking that this was a happy story, as it means we weren't running to the gym. In the course of the conversation, we started talking about our dads.

Parker's dad is an executive for FedEx. He's been super successful and as such makes a load of money and gets lots of great benefits, including free shipping and air fare for his family.

My dad is a supply chain manager for IMFT. He worked his way from basically nothing to where he is today. He's traveled the world, brokering deals with international leaders. He's never been out of a job as far back as my memory goes. He's always been able to provide for his family and contribute additional time to organizations like the stake high council and the University of Utah Business program.

Both of our dads worked hard for their success. Both had to make themselves what they are, and they succeeded. Big time.

But me and Parker weren't bragging on our dads per se. While we both love and respect our dads, that particular conversation revolved around a minor unintended consequence of the great things they've done with their lives.

We now have to live up to their legacy.

The problem with success is that when you are growing up in its shadow there are certain unattainable expectations placed on you. You have everything you need to succeed provided for you. Access to the best schools and opportunities, a mentor who can guide you to excellence, and a set of dang fine genetics to boot. The world is your oyster, so to speak.

But here's the thing. There were very few things that me and Parker saw in the exact same way, and one of those things was this: We will not be able to do as well as our fathers.

The fact is that even though the American dream is alive and well (If you need proof, look at my father), there are very few people who achieve quite so much. Frankly, I don't believe I'm cut from the same cloth as my dad. He's a better man than me by far.

Because of him, I've been given all the tools I need, including a college education. Because of him, no matter what I do with it, I will still never live up to what people expect of me...

Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe the rest of the world looks at what I've done and is satisfied, impressed even. Maybe I've done some good things. I was a pretty good student. I got my eagle scout. I earned a scholarship. I made some great friends and helped some people who needed me. I played lacrosse, survived McDonald's, and got accepted to one of the best universities on the planet. Maybe that's good enough for everybody else.

But it is NOT good enough for me.

Because every thing I am, all the success I've had has been built on a mountain. I've created a hut at the top of that mountain and laughed at the castles in the valley below me.

NOT good enough.

Because I'm no closer to the things that really matter.

Career? Can't find a job. The best I could do was McDonald's. In the months that I've been looking there have been no positive hits. No interviews. No responses. Period. Even at places that are advertising job openings in my area. Nothing.

Family? Realistically, this is probably never going to happen. I haven't had a girlfriend since 8th grade. I'm now at MeetYourFutureSpouse University and I've still got nothing. Even when you are used to the friend zone, it sucks.

Religion? I've done things that I don't think will ever fully leave my conscience.

NOT good enough.

But I'll keep fighting.

I don't know what the future has in store for me. I don't know if my dreams are achievable or not. I don't know why I was put here and who I'm supposed to reach.

But I do know one thing.

I know that it doesn't matter.

In Mr. Atwood's AP Euro class, we read a poem called "the Charge of the Light Brigade." It details an engagement in the Crimean War in which something went terribly wrong. Through an obvious mistake in command, a single division, the Light Brigade, was sent in a full frontal attack at against a heavily fortified artillery division with 20 infantry units supporting. Accepting this as their duty, the Light Brigade mounted up and charged headlong into a valley with enemies on every side. Somehow, they made it through their mile long charge to the guns and were able to scatter the defenders, but were pushed back. So they rode back once more through the valley of death with cannon and rifle hammering them the whole way back. Hundreds were killed. Incidently, this took place on my birthday.

Particularly moving to me was this quote:

Theirs not to make reply,

Theirs not to reason why,

Theirs but to do and die,

Into the valley of Death

Rode the six hundred.

What made these men heroes was not what they accomplished. They accomplished nothing. What made these men heroes, was that they did what they had to do regardless of the outcome. They plowed into the valley of death and fought on.

So I won't give up. I won't stop fighting. And even though I may never be the greatest man in the world, I can at least die as myself, proud that when the call came to charge, I did not back down.

For your reference, here is the poem in its entirety. It is quite possibly my favorite poem ever written.


1.

Half a league, half a league,

 Half a league onward,

All in the valley of Death

 Rode the six hundred.

"Forward, the Light Brigade!

"Charge for the guns!" he said:

Into the valley of Death

 Rode the six hundred.

2.

"Forward, the Light Brigade!"

Was there a man dismay'd?

Not tho' the soldier knew

 Someone had blunder'd:

Theirs not to make reply,

Theirs not to reason why,

Theirs but to do and die:

Into the valley of Death

 Rode the six hundred.

3.

Cannon to right of them,

Cannon to left of them,

Cannon in front of them

 Volley'd and thunder'd;

Storm'd at with shot and shell,

Boldly they rode and well,

Into the jaws of Death,

Into the mouth of Hell

 Rode the six hundred.

4.

Flash'd all their sabres bare,

Flash'd as they turn'd in air,

Sabring the gunners there,

Charging an army, while

 All the world wonder'd:

Plunged in the battery-smoke

Right thro' the line they broke;

Cossack and Russian

Reel'd from the sabre stroke

 Shatter'd and sunder'd.

Then they rode back, but not

 Not the six hundred.

5.

Cannon to right of them,

Cannon to left of them,

Cannon behind them

 Volley'd and thunder'd;

Storm'd at with shot and shell,

While horse and hero fell,

They that had fought so well

Came thro' the jaws of Death

Back from the mouth of Hell,

All that was left of them,

 Left of six hundred.

6.

When can their glory fade?

O the wild charge they made!

 All the world wondered.

Honor the charge they made,

Honor the Light Brigade,

 Noble six hundred.

Capitalist Brain Blast

Just briefly, I am back at college. I moved into my new dorm with my best friend, Spencer Gilbert, last Friday and so far I haven't been disappointed. Well okay, maybe just a little in one isolated area. My new dorm is really ghetto compared to my last dorm. Everything is half the size. We have one bathroom with showers half the size. As I said on Facebook, they get up to about my nipples so I spend a lot of time hunched over in the shower. Good morning, right?

Other than that though, it really has been a blast.

Spencer is a fantastic roommate. He even comes to the gym with me when he doesn't want to and stays up doing random stuff with me into the night.

It is kind of weird to see my high school friends walking around my college campus. Partially because of summer semester, those parts of my life seem totally separate now. I imagine it is much the same feeling as one would get if they ran into an ex at their anniversary. Not that it's a bad thing though, I love getting to party with them and knowing select people around campus is loads of fun and has helped me meet even more new friends.

My classes are a bit...different from summer semester as well. I'm taking the book of mormon in a class hundreds of students big and Economics in a class that is significantly bigger than my entire graduating class at dear old AF high. I've also got Biology, which is a required, but hated area of learning, as well as two history classes. Combined with Economics, my US History class fills the American heritage requirement, and puts me a step closer to my history major for which I am taking the Historian's craft.

I'm also considering switching majors. a week after I signed on.

Why?

Because I finally had my first capitalist brain blast.

Since I was a kid, I've been trying to figure out that one niche I can fit into to become enormously successful. One need I can fill, one new idea I can have, something I can do better than everyone else.

No joy until a week ago when I found my new dream.

I was actually talking to Spencer about how he could be successful in engineering. I suddenly had the realization that space is the future so an aero-space engineer could do extremely well if he worked hard enough. Then I realized I wasn't thinking big enough and neither was anyone else.

My new dream is to open up space for the world. Not just the occasional shuttle launch into the earth's orbit. I mean other planets, other solar systems. Other places people could find a home.

Sounds pretty crazy huh? Not to mention nerdy...

But if someone could do that, if someone could make it cost effective to go into space, that would be a start. Cars weren't a big deal until people could actually afford them. The same thing goes in this situation. There is barely any benefit at all for the majority of people for NASA to be able to launch satellites that cost hundreds of millions of dollars. You need to drive costs way down to establish a real foothold.

The fact is that if you give people three things, the galaxy opens up. MTC: Motivation, Transportation, and Communication. If you give people a reason to need space, whether it be for corporate access to resources or a second home for the refugees of the world, they will look for ways to achieve their goals. If you find a way to travel at something approaching the speed of light, or even faster, then the motivation becomes real and the industry will skyrocket. From there, we just need a method of instantaneous communication and the galaxy is open.

I actually have ideas on how to achieve all three, but that would be telling wouldn't it?

Because of this goal, I'm considering switching not to science, but to an economic major. It is going to take more than just one man to achieve this dream. Someone needs to lay the ground work for an entire industry dedicated to reaching the stars. Corporations have to be built with a larger perspective than Space X. I can only do those things if I understand business and economics.

Well, I've clearly unleashed my dork side, but at the same time, the idea is too exciting for me to abandon just yet. We'll see what happens this semester before I ditch my history track.

Not really any new art I've encountered. The Walking Dead and the Office just keep getting better, but other than that, we'll have to see what happens this week.

Stay hot.

My Place

The way I see it, there has to be a certain place out there that is perfect for me. A place where I don't have to run around trying to find life, it just comes to me. A place where my chances are high for success and it is difficult to not be happy.

Why can't I find it? I've been all over the world, and I've been to places that ranged from gorgeous to incredible.

But I don't know if any of them are really my home.

Don't get me wrong people, I'm by no stretch of the imagination complaining about where I am now. Unlike most people, I actually like Utah quite a bit. People say the culture is judge mental but so am I. And why care what other people think? If I'm in the Muslim quarter of Jerusalem people don't agree with a lot of what I believe, but I still got on with them just fine. I also love the mountains. To some degree I don't even need access to them, I just like knowing they're there. The are solid, sure, reliable, and they totally make the skyline rock. Cooler even than a New York skyline in my personal opinion. There is something powerful about a mountain that sky scrapers can't match.

But it still isn't my place.

Part of the problem is that I don't know what my place would be like. I'm sure it would involve beautiful architecture, a vibrant culture, and access to a large body of water. I'm sure the people there are helpful and interested. I'm sure that at sunset you can just breathe in pure contentment and at night the city comes alive.

But beyond that...

I've always dreamed of far away places. In the case of Florence, literally. Maybe that is part of the problem.

See, the ideal is always just around the corner, just on the other side of the hill, just out of reach. Same with the places I imagine as my home. They are always perfect utopias, meeting all my needs and satisfying all my desires. And they are never where I am.

I'm starting to think that that is the most important part of my place. What makes it a dream worth having is that I will never really have it. Anything you have, no matter how wonderful, becomes a prison with time. After a while, even Eden wasn't good enough.

The only exceptions to this rule are memories. A sunset on a great day may make you grin, but years later the memory of that sunset and the people you were with will bring a smile to your face and peace to your heart.

So to some degree, life becomes a medium for creating new dreams. In the future, things are muddy. In the present, nothing is perfect. In the past, there are memories, and when a memory becomes a dream, the ideal becomes reality.

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Nothing major to report in the critical artistic area of my life. This week I've re-watched both Bourne and V for Vendetta. I didn't much care for Bourne the second time to be honest, although the action is still great. V is still one of my heroes.

I apologize if my last couple posts have been a bit philosophical for your tastes. Upon reflection, I realized just how dull it would be to read my lists of stuff I had done. If you weren't there it wouldn't mean anything to you, and even though I can unleash some pent up sarcasm in those sort of posts I'm planning on scaling them back to avoid stifling the microscopic audience that I have, an audience that features one real person, a person who thinks that she follows me, but doesn't really, and a website critiques movies, probably jacking some of my input to do so.

In the words of a hero of mine, "Stay thirsty my friends."

Government Conspiracies and Whatnot

I'm currently trying to figure out how this whole mess is going to play out.

Last year I predicted that the defining war of my generation would be between Iran and Israel.

Well its coming. Israel has been playing smart, using car bombs and computer viruses to cripple the Iranian nuclear program. However a couple of factors are pushing the Israelis into a full attack on their larger, scarier neighbor. The Iranians have started to back attacks on Israeli citizens including the bombing of a tour bus full of tourists a month or so ago. They are also getting to a threshold which, if crossed, would make it devilishly tricky for Israel to actually do anything about Iran's nuclear potential. If they are to act, they'll have to do so soon.

What makes this an even messier situation is that to truly eliminate Iran's nuclear potential, Israel doesn't have enough firepower. America does. There is a fair chance of our county becoming actively involved in the conflict if war gets hot and we have a conservative president, aka Mitt Romney.

The problem with America getting involved is that things could quickly get out of hand and escalate what should be a regional conflict into a major war. Why? Because both Russia and China have been standing resolutely behind Iran for years.

And if that wasn't bad enough, they're killing all the Treadstone agents. Great timing Mr. Bourne.

I actually enjoyed the Bourne Legacy. It wasn't one of my favorites, but it wasn't a bad summer movie.

A lot of people I've talked to are upset that Matt Damon isn't bringing Jason Bourne back for this installment. That shouldn't be a spoiler alert, even though this movie has his name on it, it does not star Jason Bourne. He exists as a cause of the movie, and some of his actions have repercussions for the characters; thats it. Don't get to upset though, his name is still used more than anyone else's in the whole movie.

Besides, Aaron Cross actually brings a lot to the table. He has a much less interesting backstory than Bourne did, but he also brings more personality and much more kick-@$$ness. The action in this movie is more visceral, intense, and impressive, especially during the occasional parkour sequences. Cross also has managed to nab the first attractive girl of the series. Overall, I preferred the acting of Jeremy Renner to Matt Damon.

I found myself trying to decide who was cooler of the two. If they fought each other, I think Cross would win. Bourne is a better driver and he's better at working the system, but Cross is at least as good at lying, probably a hair better. Cross is also in top physical condition so he's better at running chases and acrobatics. Overall, they're pretty evenly matched so I can't wait for the two to meet up and rage on the CIA together in films to come.

People will look back on the original Bourne trilogy as superior film, but that hardly means you shouldn't go see it. Go on, grab a popcorn and go.

By the way, I'm liking being home for the break, but I'm not 100% enthusiastic about the yard work that comes with. I really need a job.

The Finals Countdown

Well folks, today marks the middle of the end. The beginning of the end was probably last thursday when I got out of my last summer semester class. Today was the first day of finals.

So far I knocked out two of them. Thank the gods, cause if I hadn't I would be stressing big time right now.

I got an 87% on my New Testament class and a 94% on my Current Social Problems.

Fairly satisfied with those scores. Now I just have Classical Traditions to go.

Also, I'm coming home this weekend. Be excited.

In other news, I'm watching Lord of the Rings with my roommates. Basically the best thing ever. A few notable quotes so far:

"One does not simply walk into Mordor."

"One does not simply plug in a USB the first time."

"One does not simply pause an online game."

"One does not simply hie to Kolob."

"One does not simply be productive on Sunday."

"One does not simply destabilize a Ugandan warlord by liking facebook statuses."

"One does not simply leave the friend zone."

"One does not simply read these quotes in a voice that doesn't belong to Boromir."

"One does not simply watch Lord of the Rings without laughing at the gay parts."

The last one, was of course me. And my roommates disagree. But if you realize that Ian McKellan is an active homosexual, you start to notice it spilling through in his acting. So many good quotes. Also, Frodo and Sam make a better couple than most Hollywood romances. Just saying.

I respect the epicness of it all, but really, those movies are also freaking funny.

Might as well review the movies while I'm at it.

Lord of the Rings is my favorite trilogy of all time. There are better films out there, like Warrior, but this trilogy takes the cake. Actually, it takes the bacon wrapped steak. The christian symbolism is super deep, especially once you go full nerd and study it like me. For example, there was a war in heaven in which Melkor, a son of god, led some of god's other children to rebel and reshape the world. He and the fallen angels were cast out and started a war against the true god. Eventually, Gandalf, also a son of god, is sent to save the world. He falls through fire and water, casts down his enemy and is resurrected in a purified state. Everywhere the christian symbolism and parallelism are incredible.

Some of my favorite characters of any story anywhere are in these stories. Aragorn is an example of what men can be if they live up to their potential. Sam is the most reliable friend anyone could ask, brave not because he has trust in his skills, but because he is willing to do whatever it takes for his friends. And Boromir is one of the most human heroes I've ever heard of. He has the charisma and the skill, but he has a weakness that criples him and nearly causes the destruction of everything he loves. All it takes is one bad move.

Almost everything is perfect. I've seen hours of videos chronicling the filming process and if I could work on any movie it would be this one.

But I have to ask, why doesn't Gandalf do any magic? He's a wizard, right? Thats his thing? So why on earth does he fight by smacking orcs with a painted stick? The most magic he does is to shine a light at the fell beasts. Impressive work, chap. Harry Potter could do that year one, but if thats what floats your boat.

Til next week.

Josh Whitlock

Carpe Diem?

Carpe Diem

You know what I'm talking about. This may be the most commonly quoted phrase short of "it came to pass." Every school teacher you have ever had has shoved a lesson about seizing the day down your throat at some point or another.

Unless your teacher was Mr. Lind. Then you got a few weeks worth.

As it is, I'm starting to feel like a real screw up in that department.

At the Batman premiere, which was incredible, I hit it off with this chick who lives in Arizona. She was up for summer semester which is over in a couple weeks so even though things were going really well I didn't do anything about it. No number, no plans, no nothing.

Why?

It's not like I have anything else going for me in the lady department right now. I could have had fun for a couple weeks then met up with her over Thanksgiving, when, you guessed it (but probably you didn't), I'm going to be in Arizona anyway. Like twenty minutes away.

That is what living my life would entail. Not over-thinking every little facet of my life, not every relationship I have.

When indecision persists it becomes decision.

Sometimes the destination doesn't matter. The journey is everything.

Damn the torpedoes, full steam ahead.

Speaking of nautical natured nuances, I hit up Lake Powell this last week.

I freaking love it there. The Andersons, Banks, and Ridings are all super awesome. Even when Zerrick needs me to put my legs up for the billionth time. I particularly enjoyed my wake boarding experimentation with things as difficult as moving toe-side out of the wake. Had some interesting philosophical discussions, including a couple political talks with Roy Banks, who thinks he is a liberal, but really isn't. I love being with my friends and family. And heck, leaving for the whole week rather than the weekend was a little bit of Carpe Diem-ing on my part.

And it screwed things up.

As much fun as I had, my choice to leave early cut Kylie completely out of the trip. On her birthday.

Happy birthday. I'll be sure to show you the pictures when I get back from that epic summer trip I invited you on. Mazeltov.

So is it really worth it? Do the means justify the ends?

Because actively pursuing the wrong decision turns regret into guilt and failure.

It doesn't matter how nice the path to hell was once you get there.

And when you plow full steam into a pack of torpedoes, people tend to get hurt.

But maybe I'm just over analyzing things again. I'll leave that up to you.

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Much to Lucinda's chagrin, the song of the week for Lake Powell was Swing Life Away by Rise Against. Super chill, super laid back, and super relaxing just like the trip. Heck, it even sounds like a memory.

The Dark Knight Rises is one of my all time favorites. The acting was actually spot on. Christian Bale did good as did Tom Hardy and all the other stars. Even Anne Hathaway exceeded expectations. I was really worried about her playing cat woman/Selina Kyle, but she pulled it off quite well. I was a believer again at, "Oops." But far and away the best acting goes to Michael Caine. If he stayed on the screen much longer, the entire audience would have been in tears. Including the guy that came dressed up as Bane. Even though the Joker was a better villain, and overall the Dark Knight may have been a better movie, this film was the perfect ending for one of the greatest trilogies of all time.

And (spoiler alert...nah, you're fine.) it features my favorite city in the world. Not Gotham, but Florence, Italy. :)

Kind of a chaotic sort of life, eh?

Hello all.

And by all, I more or less mean Marley since she is the only person who follows my blog three weeks later...

But whatever. This thing sort of counts as a journal for me and it is decently fun to write. Especially since Marley is reading. Rock on girl.

In other news:

I came home last weekend to deliver a talk and I completely butchered it. I have given good talks before, but this wasn't one of them. I learned three lessons from this public humiliation.

1. A good hook = an attentive audience
2. Think of a specific message for a specific audience
3. Be prepared for the screaming babies

Number three was especially bizarre. After going to the singles ward most of the time for the last couple months I am used to dead, complete, borderline ridiculous silence. The ward I was at was tiny, but every family had to have at least 24.3 babies. I don't know what the bishop has been teaching, but they be spawning like rabbits over there, and it totally threw off my groove.

Anyways...

It was a good excuse to get home and visit friends and family. Watched 6th sense with Tyler and Spencer friday night. Turns out it isn't as good when you know the (spoiler alert) twist ending. Really hoping Goldpiece can find a way to come to BYU instead of Snow.

btw, have you ever thought about what Snow really refers too? It's in southern Utah which means it is doubtful that the name alludes to the weather. It could be named after a certain president of the church, but based on the schools reputation I think it makes more sense to have been named after the kind of "snow" that gets passed around at their parties.

No offense to any Snow grads.

........

Ok, maybe a little. Still love you. Unless I don't. Live in fear people.

Anyways, it was really fun to see the guys, and it was also fun to chill with Juchau. Gladiator is always a great show.

In other news I talked in my sleep a couple nights ago!

Josh: makbngisohjfdsj...
Parker: What, Josh?
Josh: Oh he just...
Parker: What, Josh?
Josh: Sucks.
Parker: Who does?
Josh: He sucks at cooking.

Parker starts busting up making me snap to my senses. I realize my own insanity, look at the clock to discover it's 3:30 am and out of my mouth comes-

Josh: What the hell is happening?!

In my defense I had been asleep not 3 seconds before that and I wake up to a conversation about some dude's sucky cooking with my roomie busting up. I still have no idea what the dream was. I laughed so hard.

Also, visited my cousin and her baby. Decided I want one.

.....................................................

Ok, not showing any prospective girlfriends this blog. Least not til I'm back from the mission.

Criticism

The sound track for Batman sounds incredible. Hans Zimmer is one of my all time favorites hands down, and this track lives up to my high expectations. I may or may not have listened to it three times yesterday. Ok, I didn't. It was four times.

Needless to say I am pumped out of my mind for that film. Used my Classical Traditions class time to read through every review I could get my hands on. Figuratively speaking. Sounds even more epic than I was expecting. Batman Begins was centered around a post 9/11 theme of fear. The Dark Knight was about Anarchy, courtesy of the Joker. In this film, Bane and his army will unleash both on Gotham City. EPIC!!!

Rediscovered my love of Muse courtesy of one of my roommates, who was listening to Black Holes and Revelations last week. One of my new favorite songs is Exo-politics.

Also saw V for Vendetta last week. This movie made my top ten of all time. The dialogue is nothing short of brilliant. The protagonist, "V," is a lovable, ingenious terrorist. The movie is loaded with fantastic quotes, most coming from V. The political messages are also very compelling. One of my favorite lines from the movie is on my quotes page (which is always going to be a work in progress). "People shouldn't be afraid of their governments. Governments should be afraid of their people." Nailed it, V. Highly recommended despite the R rating, which was for language (4 f-words, but otherwise mild) and a bit of borderline pg-13 violence. The best part of the film is that it leaves it up to the viewer to decide their own stance on terrorism. Is it a wholly evil abomination? Or is it a tool that you or I would use, should circumstances demand such extremes?

Do work people.

Finally. Results.

Have you ever thought about how much crap you had to do as a kid? I don't mean cleaning your room or making your bed. If you run over all of the things you had to do just your last year of school, it is insane. Now multiply that by 12. About a billion and two math problems. 25 of the most pathetic worthless posters the world has ever seen. How is that even a requirement? I understand reading and writing, but production of posters? Which only really takes a printer and google images? And speaking of writing, how many essays have you had to write? I printed of all of my essays from my 12th grade English class alone and it was about an inch thick (not including the multiple drafts of each).

It gets kind of ridiculous kind of quick.

But apparently it pays off.

This week I've started to see the results of all those late nights. I suppose I should have been satisfied getting into what may be the sweetest university on the face of the planet. That counts as a result for sure, but it didn't seem like it was quite worth it, especially considering the amount of cash I could have made (thats right, made, as in profit) if I went somewhere like Snow.

My AP test scores appeared on my BYU transcript a week ago. As many of you know, I took 4 tests senior year: European History, Art History, Calculus AB, and Literature. I got fives on all of those besides Art History, which was a solid four. Honestly if I had gotten a five on the Art History test I would have lost all faith in the system as I took one of my essays and just wrote a note to the grader demanding that they demand a raise for working so dang hard.

Needless to say, I am well pleased.

What this amounts to is a grand total of 28 credit hours to BYU when you throw in my concurrent enrollment credit from my english class. That class alone got me 9 credit hours, which is more than I am taking right now.

As if that wasn't sweet enough I also got a scholarship today! My dad's company, IM Flash Technologies, offers a scholarship for their workers dependents. I applied three or four months ago and forgot all about it. I got a call this morning at 8:40 from IMFT which I promptly hung up without answering as I went to bed about 5 hours previously. I woke up and hopped in the shower at 10:35, got out and saw that I had missed yet another call. Then I missed a call in the middle of my New Testament class. Epic fail, until I finally answered at which point it became an Epic Win!

Critiques

I saw a sweet mind bending movie called Memento last week. It is one of Christopher Nolan's earliest films. It follows a man who has short term memory loss, which he gained (spoiler alert) trying to save his wife who was killed...among other things. Nolan shows the movie backwards, with the first scene showing how the linear story ends. This play on time continuum makes you feel as disoriented as the protagonist is. I highly recommend it edited, as it has some very R rated language. Very, very R rated language.

Also, just finished the first season of the Walking Dead. Its essentially a zombie apocalypse show, but it was actually super high quality. The acting is brilliant and the story is gripping from the start. The most interesting part is watching the different characters react to the challenges they face as they develop. It is, however not for the easily upset. As a zombie apocalypse series, the violence is particularly gruesome and there is a bit of what we shall henceforth refer to as "bingo." Yes, I stole that from Atwood. Deal with it.

Screwing with Adam: Episode 1

We have made a remarkable discovery. My roommate, Adam, has discovered that my other roommate, Adam, does weird things in his sleep. He talks and thinks to the point where he can respond to you with absolutely no memory of the conversation and he says the weirdest things. Naturally, we had to take advantage of the situation. Here are some of the highlights.

Adam 1: Who is your favorite roommate Adam?

Adam 2: ..........Jesus.

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Adam 1: Can you sing Adam? (for the record he can. The kid was in choir in high school and he's got the voice of a sassy black lady when he wants it.)

Adam 2: I don't know.

Adam 1: Can you sing me a song?

Adam 2: No.

Adam 1: Why not?

Adam 2: .................Satan.

Adam 1: Satan?!

Adam 2: Uh huh.

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Adam: Don't worry, Adam, your secret is safe with me.

Adam 2: Wait, what secret?

Adam 1: Oh don't worry about it.

Adam 2: What secret?

Adam 1: Don't worry, man, I'll tell you in the morning.

Adam 2: Ughhh... I hate the morning... like children.

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Adam 2: Don't hide it! I didn't touch it.

He also recognized me and Parker multiple times, only to forget we were there minutes later. I heard the words, "What?! Josh! When did you get here?!" at least 4 times.

We've heard rumors from his friends of being beat up by a furious naked sleeping Adam in the past, so we're hoping something similar happens to us as weird as that sounds. More to come on...

SCREWING WITH ADAM!!!

4th of July Special

Hello all.

I don't plan on blogging every couple days, so don't expect this as a norm, but I feel like I should write something on holidays for sure.

July 4th

I actually have no plans for today beyond the Stadium of Fire. This is kind of a family tradition. We've gone almost every year we've been here, even when the band playing sounds...less than desirable. There are just so many country concerts I can attend. Also, whats up with the American Idol contestants every year? Usually they aren't even that good since American Idol trys to recruit odd balls to build drama rather than talented singers. Like the guy this year? Never heard of him. Probably with good cause. Lets face it, that show died when Simon left and everyone knows it.

That rampage done, I am inordinately excited about the fireworks. The concert may be mediocre, the food may cost more than the Greek government can afford, and the beach boys may finally kick off after passing a kidney stone mid show, but once crap starts blowing up in the sky I'm like a 4 year old again.

I should probably add check the mail to my to do list as I haven't checked it since I got here...apologies to anyone who might have sent me something, especially presents.

Life

Ever since I got back from Helaman's camp I've been swamped with homework. Monday was particularly bad. My two demanding classes are on Tuesday and Thursday so I was trying to get everything done for them, but I also had FHE (which makes no sense because here at college...no one is with their family. Friendly Home Evening? If you're lucky.) which I attended because I heard they had dinner ready for us in the form of chocolate chip pancakes. I get over there and people are still mixing the batter! My twenty minute courtesy/hunger trip turned into an hour. I played this fun game where people blindfolded themselves and sang along with their headphones. Almost wet myself. Ok, there may have been a slight trickle...

Abandoned ship as soon as I could so I could get home and do some more homework, found out my essay wasn't due until next week (hallelujah) and found the time to watch Taken (see entertainment review below).

Yesterday was a little less exciting. I had class until 6:30, I got home and blew everything off because there are no classes today. Adam 1 gave Adam 2 the best haircut of his life (my roomies for those of you whose minds were boggled). We then watched this weird Japanese animated movie called (sp?) Princess Mononoke.

Critique

I was less than impressed with Taken. I love Liam Neeson to death, but he was the only redeeming part of the movie for me. The dialogue wasn't that smart and the plot was super simple. If you are in the mood for watching a spy go around being completely BA, watch the Bourne movies.

Princess Mononoke was a little weird (ok, very weird) but it was actually an ok film. Great musical score. Rather bloody so not recommended for kids despite the Princess word in the title and the fact that it's a cartoon.

I also found a really good, but somewhat disturbing song. It's called Hero of War by Rise Against. Probably shouldn't recommend it on the 4th of July as it comes off with a rather negative message about our troops, but it really got me thinking. It presents the story of a very human American soldier who after witnessing and committing atrocities becomes disenchanted with war in all its forms. I've always advocated interrogation of terrorist leadership if it means saving American lives, and to some degree I still do. This song made me wonder if it was still ok on entirely different grounds than I had thought of before. Forgetting completely about the terrorist and whether or not he deserves it, what does cruelty, even with a cause, do to us? Is the potential to save lives worth the damage that we inflict on ourselves? I'll leave that one up to you.

Hello all.

My most sincere apologies for anyone unfortunate or bored enough to be reading this blog. Essentially, this is the same reason why I am creating it, because I have way to much time on my hands. Plus this way I figure I can have fewer repetitive conversations with people.

On that note, here are the answers to some hot topics of the day (...but hopefully not really...).

College

I am loving it here. My roommates are great. We all get along really well, almost to the point of being a bit cliquish. For example, whenever I'm not screwing around on campus (aka going to class) we basically all chill around the dorm. After a couple hours of boredom I got on KSL and found a tv for 35 bucks, then brought my PS3 up so we could watch Netflix. That week we got through the entire first season of Prison Break, which I highly recommend with a warning on content. Very engaging and intense with awesome characters. We also just watched Warrior, which, as most of you know, is my favorite movie of all time. Same, apparently, for one of my Helaman's camp companions. Confused? I'll address that later.

I'm taking 8 credit hours. My classes are Classical Traditions, Current Issues, and the 4 Gospels of the New Testament. I love the latter two and basically hate the first. It features a lot of reading about stuff I already learned courtesy of Shelley, Selyutina (or, as I refuse to call her, Shupe), and Professor Joseph "Chrome-dome" Atwood. Respectively, they have extensively covered greek literature, art, and history with a cultural lesson thrown in from each. Unlike the other two classes, because I've already learned a lot about it, the pleasure I get from discovering new things is not yet present. I'm loving my other two classes though. Current Issues is eye opening, even if I disagree a lot with the solutions I'm being taught by my liberal teacher. The New Testament is also somewhat familiar at it's core, but my professor is so loaded with information that the random stuff he throws in on the side makes up for the 15 pages a day I've been reading.

Still no job, although I am looking. A lot of my options weren't options due to conflicts with Helaman's camp. Which is, I suppose, what I'll talk about next.

Helaman's Camp

For those of you who don't know what this is, my home stake does a mission prep camp every other year. We go into the wilderness dressed in white shirts and ties and have tons of lessons and talks. We also eat like kings.

This year I was a zone leader, which was great for me. I've discovered that, like basically everything that has to do with the church, you reap what you sow. The boys who put in the effort and go in with a good attitude had a fantastic experience. Being in a leadership position really helped me to be in the right state to maximize what I got out of camp. I gave two lessons. They were great as far as spiritually preparing me goes, but I didn't feel like they did much for my zone. I base this solely off the fact that at least half of them at any given time were asleep and no one that was awake felt like participating in any discussion.

My talk was definitely the high point of the trip for me. I felt like it went over decently well. I got more out of it than anyone else for sure. The time I prepared it was more spiritual than most of the rest of camp due to the level of focus I was putting into it. And, as has become something of a trademark of mine, I started off with a hook about a movie, in this case a hybrid of Peter Pan and the Land Before Time.

I had two companions. Brayden Rhoton was my fellow zone leader. His favorite movie is also Warrior, which contributes to his motivations for practicing Muay Thai. We got along really well and worked pretty good as a team. My other companion was a kid that was struggling with his testimony. He was sort of a follower. Whenever we were doing lessons and such he did better than most at being open and contributing, but when he met up with his friends it went out the window. They loved making monkey noises at each other in case anyone was curious. I don't know why you would be. On the last day he refused to read any of the scriptures in companionship study and told me he was sick of the whole experience. Then during testimony meeting his best friend stood up and made what I think was a genuine promise to change and become a man, making an appointment with his bishop in the process. My comp stood up and said the same thing. I really don't know what to make of that kid. I just hope that something about the camp got to him in some small way.

Politics

I've been keeping pretty informed on current events during my stay here. I read the news almost as often as my email. Briefly, I'm ticked that Obama is going over the law and restricting the enforcement of illegal immigration policy. Seems a bit dictatorial to me. Although I totally side with the Supreme Court's decision regarding the health care bill. Also, I refuse to register to vote purely for the presidential election this fall. I want Romney, but since he doesn't have a shot of losing Utah I'm tempted to vote for Obama to tick off the relatives. I'll do local elections maybe.

Finally I'd like to introduce what will probably become the most constant part of my blogs from here on out. Each post I'm planning on talking about recent art, mostly movies, that have piqued my interest.

Critique

I just saw the Les Miserables trailer yesterday and it looks great. I'm a huge Crowe fan and I like Hugh Jackman, but I was initially worried about Anne Hathaway. She did a great job singing in the trailer though, so I'm willing to give her the benefit of the doubt this time.

I also heard rumors of an Ender's Game movie. I absolutely loved the book and their casting decisions have been spot on with Harrison Ford playing Lt. Graff and Ben Kingsley taking the role of Mazer Rackham. Asa Butterfield also seems, tentatively like a good pick. Since I doubt any of you recognize him by name, he's the kid that played Hugo in Hugo. I'm skeptical about the success of that story in any medium other than novel, however, on the basis that the book was appealing largely for it's psychological nature. Getting inside Ender's head is something that sounds close to impossible to do on screen.

The Dark Knight Rises is coming out in a few weeks and me and my roommates are going opening night. Super pumped. I haven't seen a Christopher Nolan movie I didn't like, although the Prestige was close. Batman is by far my favorite super hero, and one of my favorite overall characters of all time. I have a pretty decent theory about the direction the movie is going to take, but am somewhat scared of telling what it is because I don't want to ruin it for my friends. If anyone is curious, it centers on what actually happens between Bane and Batman in Knightfall. Let me know if you want to know more. Also, not excited about Catwoman being played by (of all the thousands of good actors in show business) Anne Hathaway. Frankly, her acting has always seemed a bit forced to me and she just doesn't have the sly sort of flirty playfulness that cat woman is supposed to have. Tom Hardy should kill it as Bane though. I absolutely loved him as Tommy Riordan in Warrior and he's gotten even bigger for this movie. Crazy.

Also, don't judge me, but one of my favorite pieces of film I've seen in a long time is the finale of the Legend of Korra. Watch the whole series first, but when you get to the finale be very excited for what is quite possibly the most epic thing I have ever seen.

Jim Gaffigan = New favorite comedian.

Sorry about the length of the post, I'll try to keep them shorter in the future. Guess I just had a lot to say. Cheers everybody.