A Hole Band of Awkward Legends

Did you know that sometimes there are moments so terrible that even Lord of the Rings isn't good enough to make me stay put?

Shocker, right? I think I've geeked out about Lord of the Rings more than any other show on this blog. It's sort of like the way an emo feels after cutting himself. Bleeding fantastic.

Ok...maybe a bit to dark even for me, but when has that stopped me before?

That terrible moment I was talking about earlier can, and probably someday will, manifest itself in the form of a group of band nerds.

On a side note, I don't necessarily hate the band. I think it's great that so many people can find friendship or some type of awkward incestuous family in the band. I think it's great that they can defy the odds and win something for AF for a change. I think that lots of them are great people. I've got a lot of friends that were in band and I genuinely enjoy spending time with them.

But not in packs. When band kids are cut off from each other they are fun, cool human beings. When they get together, they form this social chasm with the rest of the world. It's awkward as all hell. I think that band, much like drama, forms a bond between band kids that is stronger than anything anyone else can offer them. So in situations where they have other band kids around, they form the chasm and ignore the rest of the world in favor of reliving the good old days and talking about the next generation of band nerds that no one else knows about.

Me and Spencer couldn't take it, so we abandoned ship. In my case, literally just as they were about to start fighting at Helm's Deep. That should tell you how uncomfortable it was.

Note to everybody: If you manage to graduate and find yourself going to a nice college somewhere, don't be a wannabe super senior. There isn't a person on earth who wants to be ignored in favor of gossiping about this cute high school junior couple that already have their wedding vows written.

In other news, I've been walking around for the past couple of days with a large hole in my chest.

I discovered this oddly shaped, multicolored mole on my chest so I went to get a dermatologists opinion regarding potential malignant origin. He's about 90% certain it isn't cancerous which was nice to know, but I still found myself lying on the table without a shirt while he came at me with a knife. An unexpected consequence of paying 30$ for about 5 minutes of attention: doctors reserve the right to cut you at a moment's notice without any prior interest expressed. So he carved out a hole about half an inch in diameter and then cauterized it with some kind of bizarre chemical and here I am. For the first time in my life, a holey man.

Yes, I've read Harry Potter. Yes, I steal their jokes sometimes.

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You know, it's dang hard to keep track of what I have and have not reviewed. I'm going to guess that I've covered the Walking Dead, the Avengers, and Avatar...although as an update for that some guys in my dorm are hosting an Avatar party every Saturday morning. We had about 18 people show up for day one, more than half of whom were girls...attractive ones too.

I've recently been introduced to the beauty that is Spotify. Because of Spotify, I can listen to anything I want, whenever I want. There are thousands of songs at my disposal.

I've listened to the same two albums over and over again for the past two weeks. That's right, with any song in the world at my disposal, I've listened to nothing but Night Visions and Black Holes and Revelations since I got to college.

Imagine Dragons' new album, Night Visions, is easily one of my favorite albums of all times. Imagine Dragons has a very unique and creative flavor on their music that is at once chill and super exciting. It is good for any mood any time. I've gone through that track about 40 times and I still couldn't tell you what all the words are for most of the songs because it is all about that unique sound. Highly recommended to anyone. The top three songs are, in no particular order, Radioactive, Bleeding Out, and Demons.

Black Holes and Revelations is also one of the greatest albums ever. I feel like I may have written about this before (and I'm too lazy to check), but briefly, Muse is a tripy, almost hallucinogenic sort of a band. Bizzare, but extremely good. Even, if I may be so bold, Legendary. And the most legendary of their albums is Black Holes and Revelations. Don't just listen to one song, take the whole album and just have it playing in the background somewhere. Although your ears are most likely to poke up at Knights of Cydonia, Exopolitics, and Starlight.

In case you were wondering, yes, I've seen How I Met Your Mother. Yes, that is where the "legendary" thing comes from. In what is possibly my favorite show of all time, a father in 2030 tells his children the tale of how he met their mother through flashbacks to 2005, where 27 year old Ted has become desperate for a committed relationship that will lead to kids/marriage. He and his friends, especially Barney are hilarious. And dirty. Very dirty. I would never ever let my kids watch this show, but it is easily one of the funniest ever. One of the best things about it is that everything is tied into the show. Random details will be brought back up in later episodes to hilarious effect. Oh, and there are also some extremely cute moments that should more than satisfy any chick-flickish craving you may have been suffering. If you have given up on making it into heaven and want some quality entertainment, this is the show for you.

Suit up and don't touch that remote. More of the things you never wanted to know about my life will be back after these messages.